Quarantine, day 6: when you realize what the toilet paper frenzy was about
Software Developer Friend
My company bought our biggest competitor, and we had to merge their product with ours.
But we wanted to show them who’s boss, so we deleted their source code and fired all their developers.
Then our software team got really carried away, and plowed the empty parking lot…
On a positive note, our company had a splendid day.
Egoism is the very essence of a noble soul.
See, I took your startup advice!
Find your niche, not Nietzsche
Awww that’s my bad
B&W Person (turns out to be Nietzsche)
Such an easy mistake
We need a CTO for my startup idea
We have funding and pay market rate
I already have a job
We could change the world together!
Ask me again 10 years ago
Hey, do you want to hear my startup pitch?
Sure, what problem are you guys solving?
We’re solving the problem of me not having a job.
That’s not the worst I’ve ever heard.
How much are you raising?
My manager asked if I wanted to go train spotting with them.
Is that a code word for consensual sexual harassment?
I think they do actually just spot trains
(After a beat.)
Maybe it was better if it was the sexual harassment thing.
Dude, you look terrible. Are you alright?
Sure, I just didn’t sleep much. I’ve found a band that plays Green Day songs but very very slowly.
Should I forward you the link?
You can’t, sorry. My internet is full.
I probably have a pebble in my shoe that makes my foot hurt. That changes the way I walk, which then makes my back hurt too.
By now I don’t want to walk at all, I just stay home and get more and more depressed every day.
At least you’re not moaning about it, so that’s okay.
I just got hired to work for an awesome startup.
Why aren’t you happy then?
I am happy.
I just don’t feel it yet.