Quarantine, day 6: when you realize what the toilet paper frenzy was about
Comics: Quarantine
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Episodes
Mergers and Acquisitions
Software Developer Friend
My company bought our biggest competitor, and we had to merge their product with ours.
But we wanted to show them who’s boss, so we deleted their source code and fired all their developers.
Then our software team got really carried away, and plowed the empty parking lot…
On a positive note, our company had a splendid day.
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Find your niche
B&W Person
Egoism is the very essence of a noble soul.
Startup Guy
See, I took your startup advice!
Mentor Woman
Find your niche, not Nietzsche
Startup Guy
Awww that’s my bad
B&W Person (turns out to be Nietzsche)
Such an easy mistake
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Need a CTO
FOUNDER
We need a CTO for my startup idea
TECHIE FRIEND
Not me
FOUNDER
We have funding and pay market rate
TECHIE FRIEND
I already have a job
FOUNDER
We could change the world together!
TECHIE FRIEND
Ask me again 10 years ago
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Startups solving real problems
FOUNDER
Hey, do you want to hear my startup pitch?
INVESTOR
Sure, what problem are you guys solving?
FOUNDER
We’re solving the problem of me not having a job.
INVESTOR
That’s not the worst I’ve ever heard.
How much are you raising?
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Trainspotters
ARTHUR
My manager asked if I wanted to go train spotting with them.
STUART
Is that a code word for consensual sexual harassment?
ARTHUR
I think they do actually just spot trains
(After a beat.)
Maybe it was better if it was the sexual harassment thing.
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Very very slowly
ARTHUR
Dude, you look terrible. Are you alright?
STUART
Sure, I just didn’t sleep much. I’ve found a band that plays Green Day songs but very very slowly.
(A beat.)
Should I forward you the link?
ARTHUR
You can’t, sorry. My internet is full.
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Pebble in the Shoes
ARTHUR
I probably have a pebble in my shoe that makes my foot hurt. That changes the way I walk, which then makes my back hurt too.
By now I don’t want to walk at all, I just stay home and get more and more depressed every day.
FREDERIQUE
At least you’re not moaning about it, so that’s okay.
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German restaurant
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Happy
ARTHUR
I just got hired to work for an awesome startup.
STUART
Why aren’t you happy then?
ARTHUR
I am happy.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
I just don’t feel it yet.
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