STUART
Hey man, you can’t just lie around on the beach all day…
ARTHUR
No?
STUART
No! Let’s go somewhere!
ARTHUR
You’d be surprised how many places I can be at, while lying here with the eyes closed.
Go somewhere
j j j
Episodes
Semi-perfect crime
FRED
(Re: the cat. Yelling.)
Aaarthur?!
FRED (CONT’D)
Did you bring home a cat?
ARTHUR
(Arthur arrives, playing it cool.)
Why would you assume that he is with me?
FRED
He has a bow?
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Aham…
FRED
…the bow’s colour matches your eyes!
ARTHUR
Busted!
j j j
Cat, walk
STUART
Is that a cat with you?
ARTHUR
He looked so hungry… also, I had this idea that we can learn from him a lot.
STUART
Like what?
ARTHUR
First, he goes out every night to pick up chicks.
STUART
Pah… Me too.
ARTHUR
Never pays for food?
STUART
That’s me.
ARTHUR
He can also lick his thingy.
STUART
Hmm, I have to check something.
I’ll be in my room.
j j j
Special characters
FRED
Hey Arthur, how is your startup job?
ARTHUR
Alright. Since no one else knows how to program, I just pretend to be a developer.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
So I just write short lines starting with special characters all day.
FRED
Aham. Sounds productive.
ARTHUR
Productive it is alright. I have three todo apps, a project manager and two calendars.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Thinking about it, this will be the best documented failure I’ve ever had.
j j j
Startup job
Arthur
I’ve landed a new job at a startup.
Fred
Congrats! Which position?
Arthur
I’ll be a software developer.
Fred
Don’t you need to know programming for that?
Arthur
Yeah, they only asked if I knew Java.
I thought they mean the island.
j j j
Photoshop dictator
Stuart
I got inspired by Arthur’s recent Photoshop success. First I wanted to just make fake money, but then I got carried away and created my own kingdom
Fred
Like anyone would need another dictator
Stuart
No need to be sarcastic, you already seem to have signed all the contracts – also, welcome to Stuartland!
j j j
Pimping up
Arthur
I have this new Photoshop class in school, and it’s awesome!
Arthur
So I’ve spent the day with pimping up my public profiles.
Stuart
Hey Arthur, you still owe me a beer!
But just lend me your Porsche for tonight and we are even.
Arthur
Wow, it’s true: money brings all but problems!
j j j
42 Towels
Stuart
Hey guys, cute towels!
Arthur
Didn’t you get the e-mail? Today is our 42nd episode!
Stuart
Yeah, I’ve seen that one…
Stuart
…but it didn’t say anything about going to the spa.
j j j
Under review
Fred
Have you read Stuart’s couchsurfer reviews? They are excellent:
‘Pervert weirdo wanted us to share a bed with him’
Arthur
Yup, they are fake; I wrote those so that we don’t have any more people coming…
Fred
In this case ‘the goatee guy snores like a tractor’ was very uncalled for.
Arthur
I slightly got carried away.
j j j
Sleepover
Fred
I thought you will only sleep here if the couch surfer girls are not pretty.
Stuart
They didn’t want to share the bed with me.
Arthur
Sssh guys, some try to sleep.
Stuart
Arthur, why are you here? You have your own bed…
Arthur
No reason. Any of you want to spoon a bit?
j j j