ALIEN
In the improbable case we hire you, we will want you to have a haircut.
STUART
That’s impossible. All my superpowers are in my hair.
ALIEN
Superpowers?!
STUART
They say I’m unstoppable.
ALIEN
We very much like that.
You are in.
STUART
I’ll call you daddy.
STUART
I decided to apply for a job at your company.
ARTHUR
Oh no.
STUART
(Passes on the paper.)
Maybe you could take a look at my CV?
ARTHUR
There’s a bug here: it says you did high school twice
STUART
That’s correct: for the second time with a fake ID.
Chicks said they liked mature guys.
ARTHUR
Well, good luck mate.
ARTHUR
This is Daisy, my girlfriend; we met on a cosplay event.
She doesn’t talk too much, but can you guys hang out while I bring some beers?
COSPLAY GIRL
I’m a dude. It’s just that the guy keeps buying beers like crazy.
STUART
This is so wrong.
STUART (CONT’D)
How much is a costume?
FRED
I haven’t slept for three days because I’m learning a new programming language.
GIRL
Wow! I heard you can hallucinate on the lack of sleep.
GIRL (CONT’D)
Also I find this very sexy.
FRED
Damn.
STUART
Hey Arthur, I heard that you received your first pay!
ARTHUR
Yeah?
STUART
High time to pay your rent then?
ARTHUR
Whops, I spent all the money on cat food…
STUART
All of it?
CUT TO:
STUART
Nice job on getting it mate – but it’s only fair if all of us gets a share.
CAT
Meow?
ARTHUR
Guess what: they bought the startup I was working for
FRED
Wow!
ARTHUR
Yeah, I’ll receive my first pay soon.
FRED
I thought you had a salary before…
ARTHUR
Nah, I missed that.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Somehow we always started to drink beers when someone asked about the money.
But I thought this is what programmers do, so I didn’t suspect a thing.
ALIEN
We are taking over the planet. Where is your superior?
FRED
Are you from the tax office?
FRED (CONT’D)
Are you from the tax office?
ALIEN
(Misunderstood)
No, man, wait…
ALIEN
Easy, just have to divide by zero
FRED
Doesn’t it open a wormhole?
ALIEN
Sure. That’s where your money goes.
Having (re)started this weekly series exactly a year ago, here is a surprise for you now: the very first digital episode, from 2003 – the guys have changed quite a bit since, right? :)
ARTHUR
Clueless floating boobs doodle?
STUART
That’s what it looks like.
STUART (CONT’D)
I kinda like it though.