STUART
Arthur, you don’t look great. Is everything alright?
ARTHUR
Yeah… I get good grades, work is great, I’m seeing a girl…
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
But then, when things go well, I get anxious, because it all doesn’t seem to be sustainable.
FRED
When was the last time we’ve fed Millie?
ARTHUR
(A beat.) Feeding?
FRED
Awesome party man, why aren’t you dancing?
ARTHUR
Oh, I thought I did. (A beat.)
Though when Miley Cyrus joined in I already started to suspect to be sleeping…
FRED
Did she say when she’s back?
ARTHUR
Shouldn’t take long: she said it’s too hot and she needs her shorter latex.
STUART
I have solved the general quintic equation under the shower.
ARTHUR
Me too, using only Fermat numbers.
FRED
And I regret having a chaos sandwich for breakfast.
STUART
I came to work straight from a party.
ARTHUR
It’s going to be a productive day then.
STUART
Well, I’m still unsure what we do here. What if we really are working for the evil?
ARTHUR
So your lousy work would be a good thing?
STUART
Being passive at work is my way to save the world.
ARTHUR
I had a short panic attack. I realised that I’ve spent all summer only with work so far.
FRED
It’s alright: all I do is get more sunburnt or more heartbroken every day…
ARTHUR
Ya, thanks. I always forget how great summer’s marketing is.
ARTHUR
Stuart says he won’t come home from the beach until he picks up a chick.
FRED
That will take long. We could rent his room out for the weekend.
STUART
(Arrives in a hurry.)
Guys, can I borrow some duct tape and the battery charger?
ARTHUR
(To Frederique.)
Maybe put the room on airbnb with an open end.
This sounds much like kidnapping.
ARTHUR
Oh no, it’s Monday again.
STUART
(His head pops up from under the desk.)
Yeah, looks like Friday’s team building wasn’t all that bad.
ARTHUR
You really need to keep a lower profile on office parties.
STUART
You are talking? I do even have clothes on.
STUART
I decided to apply for a job at your company.
ARTHUR
Oh no.
STUART
(Passes on the paper.)
Maybe you could take a look at my CV?
ARTHUR
There’s a bug here: it says you did high school twice
STUART
That’s correct: for the second time with a fake ID.
Chicks said they liked mature guys.
ARTHUR
Well, good luck mate.