Arthur
Honestly, I thought this one had a chance to work…
Stuart
She said it was like raping baby Jesus.
Under the mistletoe
j j j
Tag Archives: Arthur
App tracking
Fred
Hey Arthur, lately you are not replying to my messages.
Arthur
Yeah, sorry: I deleted all my messaging apps to have space for Christmas ones.
Somehow I’m flooded with offers for all those apps.
Fred
Hmm… did you enable their ad tracking?
Arthur
Tracking?
(We har knocks on the door.)
Alien
Thanks for being our best customer!
Arthur
How did you find me?
Alien
Not relevant; but, now you can be Santa with a small in-app purchase.
Please accept our new terms and conditions first.
Arthur
Sign me up!
j j j
Best Santa ever
Fred
Juhu! I’m the earliest to wear the costume this year, so, finally: I’m going to be Santa!
Arthur
Sorry Fred, but I happen to have the right beard for the job.
Stuart
Ha! I seem to be the only one with boots with his outfit!
Also, I may have done some underage spanking just before, so I really need the cover now.
j j j
Chef on duty
Stuart
I’m learning to cook so that we can eat healthier food.
Arthur
That’s great! Should I go and find some cats for the dinner?
Stuart
Please don’t bring more cats home, we won’t eat them.
I follow Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay, who are also using only legal meat.
Stuart
…and because of them, my kitchen is also all about basic stuff and overusing
booze
Arthur
If this doesn’t only smell like a soup of hamburger and whiskey, I’ll merry you.
j j j
Heavy-weight problems
Arthur
I think I’m getting fat for eating the wrong food.
Fred
Maybe you should switch to another diet then? Just try vegan for a while!
Arthur
Yeah? And where does it end? Not drinking beer? Not eating chips?
Fred
You are certainly not suggesting excercise?
Fred…let’s not go crazy. I just need to eat smaller stuff.
Arthur
Like, how many calories does a cat have?
j j j
Red eyes
Fred
I really think you should sleep more Arthur; those eyes are scary.
Arthur
Oh if I could…
Arthur
The problem is that my classes start at 8am but I’m still awake at 6am, playing
video games.
So I decided to stay up late, go to school and sleep only in the afternoon.
Fred
Doesn’t sound good.
Arthur
The idea is great. I just really shouldn’t have tried it between Friday and Monday.
j j j
Star Trek fans
Alien
I took some sentences to work on today.
Arthur
Really good idea, Norbert!
Alien
“…otherwise we kill all earthlings”.
Arthur
Pff, I always get the Start Trek fans…
j j j
Outer space tutee
Arthur
Hey Stuart, let me introduce you Norbert, my new tutee.
I’ll teach him English.
Stuart
Isn’t Norbert…
Fred
Yes, he’s an alien.
Stuart
Shouldn’t we tell Arthur…?
Fred
No, he still owes me two months rent.
j j j
Cosmic afterparty
Arthur
Oh my God how hard we partied last night.
Fred
Yeah… these university girls really can drink.
Arthur
Err…mate, I can see the sky.
Fred
True: apparently we have slept outside.
Do you think we got far from home?
Arthur
The good news is that we almost certainly have set a new distance record.
j j j
Boobs takeaway
Stuart
Random flying boobs?
Arthur
So it appears.
Stuart
We watch them for quite awhile now, and no one has come around yet.
Arthur
Are you thinking what I am?
Stuart
The left one is mine!
Arthur
Careful around the nipples!
j j j