Woman
So you say that you help prepare to my exams if I go on a date with you?
Fred
Exactly!
Woman
Where is the catch?
Fred
There’s none: we will only date if you pass your test.
Arthur
How did your evil plan go?
Fred
None of them passed the exam… next time I’ll try with clever girls.
Arthur
Good luck with that.
Stuart
I’m kind of broke… could I do your homework for money?
Fred
Sounds great! Do you know quantum physics?
Stuart
Let me see…
Stuart
Sigh
Stuart
Sure. It’s like physics.
Just smaller.
Fred
How about if I give you money to not help me?
Stuart
Also works with me.
Arthur
Guys, are we in the new year already?
I think I fell asleep…
Stuart
Yeah, I’ve heard the countdown two days ago.
Fred
Let’s just be safe. Five more minutes of party?
Arthur
Sure.
Stuart
Hey man, there’s a visible gap between you and the ground.
Fred
Try it out yourself: just step one up!
Stuart
I can’t see why not…
Stuart
Wooow, it’s an awesome view from here!
Fred
I know, right? It’s all relaxing and fun.
[And now, author pulls the cheap pun: the guys are just being high.]
Fred
Hey Arthur, lately you are not replying to my messages.
Arthur
Yeah, sorry: I deleted all my messaging apps to have space for Christmas ones.
Somehow I’m flooded with offers for all those apps.
Fred
Hmm… did you enable their ad tracking?
Arthur
Tracking?
(We har knocks on the door.)
Alien
Thanks for being our best customer!
Arthur
How did you find me?
Alien
Not relevant; but, now you can be Santa with a small in-app purchase.
Please accept our new terms and conditions first.
Arthur
Sign me up!
Fred
Juhu! I’m the earliest to wear the costume this year, so, finally: I’m going to be Santa!
Arthur
Sorry Fred, but I happen to have the right beard for the job.
Stuart
Ha! I seem to be the only one with boots with his outfit!
Also, I may have done some underage spanking just before, so I really need the cover now.
Arthur
I think I’m getting fat for eating the wrong food.
Fred
Maybe you should switch to another diet then? Just try vegan for a while!
Arthur
Yeah? And where does it end? Not drinking beer? Not eating chips?
Fred
You are certainly not suggesting excercise?
Fred…let’s not go crazy. I just need to eat smaller stuff.
Arthur
Like, how many calories does a cat have?
Stuart
Hey Frederique, there’s going to be this crazy pool party today. Are you in?
FredNo, sorry… I have to prepare for school…
Fred
Must study. Must not go to pooool paaarty aaah… Waait I’m coming!
Woman
Very adequate…
Fred
To be honest, with all the ongoing hype for nerds I was hoping for increased
moral support.
Fred
I really think you should sleep more Arthur; those eyes are scary.
Arthur
Oh if I could…
Arthur
The problem is that my classes start at 8am but I’m still awake at 6am, playing
video games.
So I decided to stay up late, go to school and sleep only in the afternoon.
Fred
Doesn’t sound good.
Arthur
The idea is great. I just really shouldn’t have tried it between Friday and Monday.
Arthur
Hey Stuart, let me introduce you Norbert, my new tutee.
I’ll teach him English.
Stuart
Isn’t Norbert…
Fred
Yes, he’s an alien.
Stuart
Shouldn’t we tell Arthur…?
Fred
No, he still owes me two months rent.