STUART
I decided to apply for a job at your company.
ARTHUR
Oh no.
STUART
(Passes on the paper.)
Maybe you could take a look at my CV?
ARTHUR
There’s a bug here: it says you did high school twice
STUART
That’s correct: for the second time with a fake ID.
Chicks said they liked mature guys.
ARTHUR
Well, good luck mate.
ARTHUR
This is Daisy, my girlfriend; we met on a cosplay event.
She doesn’t talk too much, but can you guys hang out while I bring some beers?
COSPLAY GIRL
I’m a dude. It’s just that the guy keeps buying beers like crazy.
STUART
This is so wrong.
STUART (CONT’D)
How much is a costume?
STUART
Hey Arthur, I heard that you received your first pay!
ARTHUR
Yeah?
STUART
High time to pay your rent then?
ARTHUR
Whops, I spent all the money on cat food…
STUART
All of it?
CUT TO:
STUART
Nice job on getting it mate – but it’s only fair if all of us gets a share.
CAT
Meow?
ARTHUR
Clueless floating boobs doodle?
STUART
That’s what it looks like.
STUART (CONT’D)
I kinda like it though.
STUART
I’m going to the gym to get a six pack before the Summer season.
Are you in?
FRED
No need: being a geek is cool enough this year
STUART
So what then? Should we just buy glasses?
FRED
Yeah, that, and the three pack.
STUART
Three?
FRED
Beer belly plus man boobs.
STUART
Hey man, you can’t just lie around on the beach all day…
ARTHUR
No?
STUART
No! Let’s go somewhere!
ARTHUR
You’d be surprised how many places I can be at, while lying here with the eyes closed.
STUART
Is that a cat with you?
ARTHUR
He looked so hungry… also, I had this idea that we can learn from him a lot.
STUART
Like what?
ARTHUR
First, he goes out every night to pick up chicks.
STUART
Pah… Me too.
ARTHUR
Never pays for food?
STUART
That’s me.
ARTHUR
He can also lick his thingy.
STUART
Hmm, I have to check something.
I’ll be in my room.
Stuart
I got inspired by Arthur’s recent Photoshop success. First I wanted to just make fake money, but then I got carried away and created my own kingdom
Fred
Like anyone would need another dictator
Stuart
No need to be sarcastic, you already seem to have signed all the contracts – also, welcome to Stuartland!
Arthur
I have this new Photoshop class in school, and it’s awesome!
Arthur
So I’ve spent the day with pimping up my public profiles.
Stuart
Hey Arthur, you still owe me a beer!
But just lend me your Porsche for tonight and we are even.
Arthur
Wow, it’s true: money brings all but problems!
Stuart
Hey guys, cute towels!
Arthur
Didn’t you get the e-mail? Today is our 42nd episode!
Stuart
Yeah, I’ve seen that one…
Stuart
…but it didn’t say anything about going to the spa.