ARTHUR
This is Daisy, my girlfriend; we met on a cosplay event.
She doesn’t talk too much, but can you guys hang out while I bring some beers?
COSPLAY GIRL
I’m a dude. It’s just that the guy keeps buying beers like crazy.
STUART
This is so wrong.
STUART (CONT’D)
How much is a costume?
STUART
Hey Arthur, I heard that you received your first pay!
ARTHUR
Yeah?
STUART
High time to pay your rent then?
ARTHUR
Whops, I spent all the money on cat food…
STUART
All of it?
CUT TO:
STUART
Nice job on getting it mate – but it’s only fair if all of us gets a share.
CAT
Meow?
ARTHUR
Guess what: they bought the startup I was working for
FRED
Wow!
ARTHUR
Yeah, I’ll receive my first pay soon.
FRED
I thought you had a salary before…
ARTHUR
Nah, I missed that.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Somehow we always started to drink beers when someone asked about the money.
But I thought this is what programmers do, so I didn’t suspect a thing.
ARTHUR
Clueless floating boobs doodle?
STUART
That’s what it looks like.
STUART (CONT’D)
I kinda like it though.
ARTHUR
Fred, are you OK?
FRED
I’m back from a hackathon.
ARTHUR
The competition where you are programming for 48 hs straight, and the beer is for free?
FRED
(After a long break.)
I’m back from a hackathon.
STUART
Hey man, you can’t just lie around on the beach all day…
ARTHUR
No?
STUART
No! Let’s go somewhere!
ARTHUR
You’d be surprised how many places I can be at, while lying here with the eyes closed.
FRED
(Re: the cat. Yelling.)
Aaarthur?!
FRED (CONT’D)
Did you bring home a cat?
ARTHUR
(Arthur arrives, playing it cool.)
Why would you assume that he is with me?
FRED
He has a bow?
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Aham…
FRED
…the bow’s colour matches your eyes!
ARTHUR
Busted!
STUART
Is that a cat with you?
ARTHUR
He looked so hungry… also, I had this idea that we can learn from him a lot.
STUART
Like what?
ARTHUR
First, he goes out every night to pick up chicks.
STUART
Pah… Me too.
ARTHUR
Never pays for food?
STUART
That’s me.
ARTHUR
He can also lick his thingy.
STUART
Hmm, I have to check something.
I’ll be in my room.
FRED
Hey Arthur, how is your startup job?
ARTHUR
Alright. Since no one else knows how to program, I just pretend to be a developer.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
So I just write short lines starting with special characters all day.
FRED
Aham. Sounds productive.
ARTHUR
Productive it is alright. I have three todo apps, a project manager and two calendars.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Thinking about it, this will be the best documented failure I’ve ever had.
Arthur
I’ve landed a new job at a startup.
Fred
Congrats! Which position?
Arthur
I’ll be a software developer.
Fred
Don’t you need to know programming for that?
Arthur
Yeah, they only asked if I knew Java.
I thought they mean the island.