ALIEN
We are taking over the planet. Where is your superior?
FRED
Are you from the tax office?
FRED (CONT’D)
Are you from the tax office?
ALIEN
(Misunderstood)
No, man, wait…
ALIEN
Easy, just have to divide by zero
FRED
Doesn’t it open a wormhole?
ALIEN
Sure. That’s where your money goes.
ARTHUR
Fred, are you OK?
FRED
I’m back from a hackathon.
ARTHUR
The competition where you are programming for 48 hs straight, and the beer is for free?
FRED
(After a long break.)
I’m back from a hackathon.
STUART
I’m going to the gym to get a six pack before the Summer season.
Are you in?
FRED
No need: being a geek is cool enough this year
STUART
So what then? Should we just buy glasses?
FRED
Yeah, that, and the three pack.
STUART
Three?
FRED
Beer belly plus man boobs.
FRED
(Re: the cat. Yelling.)
Aaarthur?!
FRED (CONT’D)
Did you bring home a cat?
ARTHUR
(Arthur arrives, playing it cool.)
Why would you assume that he is with me?
FRED
He has a bow?
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Aham…
FRED
…the bow’s colour matches your eyes!
ARTHUR
Busted!
FRED
Hey Arthur, how is your startup job?
ARTHUR
Alright. Since no one else knows how to program, I just pretend to be a developer.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
So I just write short lines starting with special characters all day.
FRED
Aham. Sounds productive.
ARTHUR
Productive it is alright. I have three todo apps, a project manager and two calendars.
ARTHUR (CONT’D)
Thinking about it, this will be the best documented failure I’ve ever had.
Fred
Have you read Stuart’s couchsurfer reviews? They are excellent:
‘Pervert weirdo wanted us to share a bed with him’
Arthur
Yup, they are fake; I wrote those so that we don’t have any more people coming…
Fred
In this case ‘the goatee guy snores like a tractor’ was very uncalled for.
Arthur
I slightly got carried away.
Fred
I thought you will only sleep here if the couch surfer girls are not pretty.
Stuart
They didn’t want to share the bed with me.
Arthur
Sssh guys, some try to sleep.
Stuart
Arthur, why are you here? You have your own bed…
Arthur
No reason. Any of you want to spoon a bit?
Stuart
Good news: I registered our apartment for couch surfers.
Arthur and Fred
Don’t we need a couch for that?
Stuart
If they are cool enough to couch surf, they should be cool
enough to share a bed with me.
Or, if it’s not a hot girl, I’ll share with one of you guys.
Arthur and Fred
Dibs on the left side!
Stuart
That was easy!
Arthur and Fred
Wait, what has just happened?
Stuart
Just remember winning.
Blond woman
Fred says they will be late.
…also, they will still be wearing their work outfit.
Red woman
Ah, great first double date…
Fred
Sorry that we were late.
Arthur
Busy saving the World…
Arthur
If this is not a strong opening line, I don’t know what is.
Fred
Next time I do the low voice.
Fred
Stupid exams, now I’m just too tired to anything fun.
But then, without school I have no career plan.
Arthur
I’ve decided to become a superhero for the fame.
Wanna come?
Arthur
That’s awesome! I didn’t think you gonna join.
Fred
Me neither; but then you mentioned the chain of command.